Dissatisfied?

Moody, moody, moody. That’s what I am today. I’m not really sure why. Don’t think I slept well for one. Very tired today. Had an annoying nightmare about my brother. Didn’t feel like going to work. You know, the whole “didn’t feel like going to work” feels like a theme this week. I just find myself wishing I were either independently wealthy or ran my own business or something. I even spent the entire drive to work trying to come up with some cool story idea so I could write a novel and get rich off of that (John Grogan anyone?). But, I just couldn’t come up with anything.

I feel like I should be satisfied to have a job that pays me well and treats me well. A flexible boss. I don’t know what it would take to satisfy me really. Isn’t this just life? You get up and go to work 5 days a week and look forward to the weekend? It’s the American way right? So why do I always find myself trying to dream of ways to get out of it? I’m really not sure. I think a big part of it is that I’m usually bored. I have projects but they are either projects that don’t take much time, don’t take much brainpower, or don’t feel like they are really worth the effort being asked of me. I had one job in my life where I was actually busy literally all day and it’s the only job I’ve ever loved. I guess my thought is that if I was working for myself I could find ways to keep myself busy. Who knows? I do have a plan to try and see what kind of money I can make independently when I take my FMLA leave after my first baby. Hopefully I can prove to make at least half of what I make now. I think we could survive on that.